Wednesday, 17 September 2014

What do I forget on this dish?

"What do you think I always forget on this dish?" asked Danny tonight.
"The bacon?" I said.
"That's right," he said. "I think you're very observant. Are you observant?"
"No, not really," I said.
I walked into an old folk's home the other day. Just walked straight in to see the old people.
"Hello," I said, "My name's Craig."
I looked at them all sat there, helpless, and smiled at them.
Then I slowly and loudly, continued.
"I've never really wanted to smash someone's face in," I said, solemnly.
"But I have felt like punching someone in the face.
"My ideal punch is a right hook, not intended to kill its recipient, but definitely to render him unconscious, and if not, to hurt him sufficiently so as to render him devoid of the option of retaliation."
I then continued to ramble on about "One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest" to the elderly in front of me and occasionally stumbled against one of the chairs, quite drunk.
One of the elderly ladies stood up to protest my presence so I punched her in the face.
No, of course I didn't, but I did sing her a few lines of, "Do You Think I'm Sexy" by Rod Stewart.


Today was a bank holiday.
We did about 240 for lunch.
I remembered the temporal paradox which was ripped in the bottom right hand side of the walk-in fridge.
I remember the light that shone through and the world beyond which was opened and let in.
The sunshine:

For this short essay I was given an relatively infantile rubrik something akin to, "Discuss wandering in The Odyssey" and told to read the Shewring prose translation.
Instead of taking the easy option, I read Lattimore, Pope and Shewring's translation and honed down to eight examples of comparitive text to exemplify how, indeed, the different translations wandered and strayed from each other, but always managed to convey a common message.

"Appendix 1a presents eight examples of three different translations of the text which illustrate that each remains true to the core theme of the narrative, all addressing the same vital subject matter in hand, while the mood, imagery and emotional response that they evoke drift radically in different directions from the point of embarkation. Specific word choices, prosody, syntax and phonology are but a few of the components which assist in producing the diversity between texts. This makes the comparative study of them a rich and rewarding process. It is also the case that exposure to multiple translations may also, perhaps accidentally, give us a flavour of the traditional oral poetry in which it is rooted, as the textual deviations mirror the alterations which muses were compelled to make when reciting such lengthy epics." - Layers of Wandering in The Odyssey - Craig Guthrie.

Yes, indeed, to follow, are those examples.
And yes, indeed, the university was put to sleep through a lack of funding and forced to employ frightened post-grads to take classes and mark papers.
And yes, indeed, I feel like punching someone in the face.
Lets just hope it's not you.
It is probably you.
On this bank holiday weekend.


"What do you think I forget on this dish, every time?" I asked Danny.
"The irony," he replied, "the fucking irony."
"Oh yes, Danny, you're observant too, I do indeed, tend to forget the irony of my whole existence, not to mention the absurdity of it all."

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